Recess Before Christmas
(c) 2017 Earl L. Trout III
This little poem of mine became such a hit that it has been posted every December for almost a decade now. And every year, radical liberals send me nasty mail complaining that I’m making fun of Democrats. Hey, if all y’all just paid attention… there is no mention of Democrats in my poem! But. you assume there are because the things I make fun of are things you do!
‘Twas recess before Christmas when all through the House
So much graft and corruption would sicken a mouse.
The Senate was glum with foreboding and fear
That lobbyist payoffs might soon disappear
Elected officials were smug in belief
Their duplicitous lies would bring them no grief.
They voted themselves raises, got rich on pension,
Did terrible things too horrid to mention.
They passed stupid laws from which they were exempt
But forced them on voters whom they held in contempt.
Revolted by the way that our leaders would boast
Good citizens decided to make them all toast.
On the White House lawn there arose such a clatter
Even fake news had to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV I ran like a hound.
Clicking all remotes on, I turned up the sound.
The light of the truth on new-found disgraces
Brought the luster of anger to all our faces.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But our brave Men in Black… the Feds with no fear.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to their work
They filled out subpoenas, then turned with a jerk,
Putting aside what was good for their party.
“Our country comes first, we’re loyal and hardy!”
Stubs of crony checks they held tight in their hands
“That’s how evil encircled, corrupting our lands.
D.C. is a swamp and it’s no longer funny.
The guilty are found, we just followed their money!”
“Cuff ‘em all and make them pay full restitution.
While in jail they can read our constitution.”
More rabid than bloodhounds, Fed curses then came.
And they whistled, and shouted, and called each by name
“Now Pervert! Now Cheater! now, Stealer and Crooked!
On Liar! On Sleazy! on, Ugly and Stupid!
To the top of the list! Most hated of our time!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away Slime!”
They sprang to choppers, and each Fed gave a whistle
Then away they all flew at the speed of a missile.
But I heard them exclaim, as they shouted with glee,
“Put ‘em all in prison! Throw away that key!”
© 2017 Earl L. Trout III
BK. DG.